What I do want to do is focus on YOU!
I have been cleaning out a lot of our bins and baskets filled with memories. Years of shared tears, laughs, pain, celebrations and devotion. I have saved so many wonderful cards and letters of support from March 9th, 1995. Paper letters and cards filled with so much love and encouragement sent by family and friends.
These letters and cards are only a very small example of what I saved. The allegiance is overwhelming! The family that lived in Ontario, some of my dad’s siblings were just as amazing. Coming to the hospital with gifts, toys, meals and comfort. We are truly so lucky~
Paul and I are still so fortunate to have so many of you in our life. Considering it being 30 years post accident, we still celebrate and appreciate those relationships that continue to step up when needed. Sometimes it’s just a text of encouragement or a coffee to chat. Or happily joining us around our dining table to enjoy dinner.
Your love and support allowed Paul and I to find comfort in our circle. We never felt judged or criticized for our decisions. Even though I didn’t reach out a lot through the years for help related to Braden’s care. I always knew you were there. That’s all that mattered.
Truly, you were all busy with your lives too. Everyone was starting families, or still in school. I feel our journey together has been one of enchantment.
Man, we have shared some of the best of times. Thank you for not allowing myself or Paul to be stuck in a state of hopelessness. For making us laugh until we cried, for allowing me to say hateful things without judgement. Forgiving me when I was not able to rise up to the front lines when you may have needed me. I hope you know I did my best with the tools I had at the time.
Those of you still here, thank you for listening. Thank you for elevating us when we had to fight. For being cheek by jowl with us in times of uncertainty. Paul and I love you all dearly, each one of you.
To the one’s who came into our lives after March 9th, many of you have been the pillars. The ones who did the fighting, who literally helped hold us up while battling for Braden’s equal and human rights.
Heather C, you will forever be my strongest wingman. (Outside of Paul). The commitment you made to Braden and our family changed the course of who I am today. You modeled the importance of listening and being open to change. At times you showed me strength and reminded me who I am! You always had Braden’s best interest first, even above mine. Thank you for that ~
Those of you who soldiered up to confront unjustified segregation in the school board, YOU are the reason I am still standing. To the people who stood up to Department of Education to support Braden’s needs and dismantle their own agenda. You have always been our hero’s. You know who you are!
I don’t think Paul and I could have survived those years together without YOU! All our love, thank you!
Our families, on both sides. There has never been a stronger support shown than that of the MacPhee & Martz families.
You can see all the love in the letters and card’s shown in my photos. Paul and I have come from families that have imprinted what love truly is. Both our parents have modelled what marriage, commitment and strength looks like. We are truly fortunate to have had parents who stood beside us. Even when my father in law was by his wife’s side during our trauma, he still sent his love and encouragement to Paul. He showed him what commitment looked liked. He is one of the strongest men I know, my father in law.
The Martz family had been hit with two catastrophic injuries on March 9th. I know Paul and I were not able to be much help with Paul’s mom at that time. She was recovering from a brain aneurysm, which occurred on the same day as my accident. Literally minutes after learning about Braden and I. She fell to the floor,unconscious and unable to respond to Paul when he called her from the hospital.
It was very much a grave time, for everyone. I hope they know we thought about them constantly. We have always been thankful that his brothers and sisters have been able to “hold the fort” without us physically being available. We will forever be grateful for their stoic stance they’ve firmly planted in their foundation of love and strength for our family.
As many of you who are closest to us understand, our family circumstances are different. Through the years it’s been a challenge for us to give our time and attention to the larger part of the Martz family. I hope they know, including our niece’s and nephews that we love them all very much. We love to see them grow and have families of their own. Celebrating you is one of our favorite things to be apart of. We wish to continue, and watch them aspire to be their best.
If you look at some of those sweet little pictures you can read the words of love written by just babies themselves. So young, little ones writing to Braden to “get better, we need you.” Not fully understanding the weight of their words, the effect it had on me. The love I had for them as they scribbled their hearts of love and words of hope for not only Braden but for Paul and I too.
To my MacPhee family; reading all those cards and letters from you over again was what inspired me to do this post.
The love that pours from those letters is overwhelming.
Reading them, has reminded me that in times of need you really do collectively “roll up on the scene, guns hot!” And for that we thank you~
We received so much encouragement. Your letters were felt like a warm blanket of comfort. We could feel your love, and the will for Braden to recover was strong. Much of the time bringing hope and conitnued strength. Thank you for always being there, through the years with calls, cards, letters, visits and loyalty. We will forever be grateful. Thank you, for never having expectations of us. Allowing the freedom to be who we are, and grow into the family that we have become. We love you, all of you!
To those of you who came after. You have had the privilege of meeting the healed version of me. You’re welcome LOL
No, seriously…I am so indebted to each one of you. Thank you for listening to my maniacal rants. Helping me cope with changes that I was not in control of, and for taking the time to understand.
Even though we may not have crossed paths 30 years ago, being here today is just another part of the journey. I’m honoured to have you. I appreciate our time together and I am worthy to the knowledge and continued learning I receive from you.
This is a time of evolving in my life, I am a changing. Always acquiring new insight to life and friendships. Thank you for being here. I love you all~
One last thought, to our Kailey. You may not have been mentioned much in this post. Only because you were not there at the time. I can say with my whole heart, you were the best thing to have ever come out of this accident. Once you showed up, our world healed in many ways. You gave us so much to fight for. Your presence changed us in every way for the better. Thank you for your patience, your commitment to our family and for your strength. We love you~
To end this post:
I cannot believe it’s been 30 years! It’s been an incredibly marvellous adventure. Filled with challenges, accomplishments, loss, travel, learning and love. My family has shared so much together. Even though the road has had bumps, we have always found a way to get over them. Stronger and with a sense of triumph. When we near the end of any challenge, we are always united. The four of us, we are independent players in our family. Each one of us highlighting our strengths and weaknesses, but always well-balanced and stable. If I could say thank you for anything March 9th, 1995 accomplished it would be just that. A strong family who respects, encourages, accepts and loves each other. I am so proud~
We are “The Martz’s”
The Grace In Grief 