100 Things I Want To Teach My Daughter #67 Help Yourself first, then ask others to help~

 

No one is responsible for you except you.

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That’s a hard lesson for so many people in life to understand. So many times we have people in our life who come to us wanting us to fix their problems or lend them a helping hand in time of need.

Naturally our instinct is too help others, and by all means fox it is so important to be there when someone needs you.
However there is a difference between lifting someone up a ladder, while they are taking the steps, then having to push someone up each step.

My expectations of you and your brother are just this;

When you find yourself in difficult times, it is important to reach out to those who love you. Asking for help is nothing to be ashamed of. I feel its more pathetic if you don’t ask for help when you need it. Trying to be stoic, strong and independent when dealing with a personal crisis just seems ridiculous. When you have loving, kind and caring people in your life why wouldn’t you accept a helping hand.

With that said, keep in mind the importance of helping yourself first. Always be aware of the changes you need to make in order to fulfill the demands of your life challenge or event.
Before you expect others to lend their time and resources, be sure you are not wearing down your offers of help. There is only so much someone can do to help you. Ultimately its up to you, the outcome of your journey lies in your own hands.

People should not be expected to lift you up and spoon feed you the answers to your problems. That’s your job. You need to be your own advocate.

If we are constantly trying to “help and encourage” others, we ourselves will run out of fuel. It is not your responsibility to care for and tend to those around you. If however they themselves are putting in the effort, working hard to better their problem then I would feel it is kind to support them.
Never turn your back on someone who needs you, and I strongly suggest you guide them in the right direction of help. Once you have done that, its up to them to follow through. YOU are not responsible to see that they are moving forward.
So don’t get caught up with those issues in your life fox, always remember the difference between encouraging and enabling. It can be a fuzzy distinction sometimes, so listen to your instincts. Understand your own body, mind and soul and what they may be trying to tell you about the situation.

I love you Fox, stay true to you always xo

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