100 Thing I Want To Teach My Son #94 I will always be there for you, no matter when or where~ February 25th

I hope you I know this. We at times can have heated discussions and not always see eye to eye. But regardless of any situation, I promise to always be there for you and always have your back.

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If I have learned one thing these past couple years it is to listen more and react after. I am working on that, I know I tend to “jump to conclusions” quick with you. I have no excuse, I guess maybe I may want what’s best for you but understanding what best for you is now your decision. That’s a hard pill to swallow.

You did pull from me a few years ago, you kinda pulled from all of us. I know you were dealing with your own stuff, we tried hard to understand that and give you the space you needed to deal with things in your own way. I feel with you doing that, you grew as a person emotionally and mentally but we were not a part of that. Understanding who you are today is a bit more challenging because we were not involved in the process of you figuring out your mental health and depression.

As a mom of course I have only wanted to “fix” all your hurt and pain. It’s not easy to accept the day you no longer can give a hug, do a craft or bring home MacDonalds Happy Meals to make you happy again. Parenting dosen’t come with a manual, especially parenting a young adult with certain mental health issues.

I guess what I’m trying to say, is it doesn’t matter where or when in life you need me…. I will always be there. I always have~

I may just need more direction and clarification now that you are older. Stepping on your toes doesn’t go over very well with you. I don’t like to assume there’s an issue and want to approach you. Dad is always telling me to “Leave him alone”…lol its only cause I worry. And obviously I want you to be happy. As a mom thats one of the most important parts..

If you need me, you need to tell me. I do my best to not be “overwhelming” in your life. But I do care, and I do love you. You may need to work on that a bit more. I need you to communicate with me when things are not good with you, and you have to be open and honest with me and tell me exactly what you need or expect. I would move the sun and the stars for you. I hope you know that~

Do not ever worry about judgement. We are past that. Judging is not who I am. I have no interest and “condemning” you or making you feel any less as a man if I don’t agree with something. I hope that became clear through the past year and all the pain, growth, tears and laughs that we experienced.

Regardless of my own thoughts and feelings I am learning to respect and trust in yours. I think that says a lot about our relationship. We’ve come along way baby! 🙂

Until next time,

Love Mom~

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