Sounds amazing right 😉 Wait till you try them!! Here they are below all finished, I baked these a couple Sunday’s ago for a family dinner. Served them with Oreo cookie ice cream. They were so good!

First step, line a 9”x11” bar pan with parchment paper. I used Pilsbury Hershey chocolate chip cookies. Then you put the Oreo cookies on top of that.

It’s not finished yet my friends, prepare your boxed brownie mix as directed on the box. Then pour that over the Oreo/chocolate chip cookie mixture.

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees, and once heated bake for 30-35 minutes. I actually kept mine in the oven a lot longer…so depending on your oven it may take more time. Once the brownies are finished on top pull the pan out, top with marshemellows. Return to oven on broil and keep a close eye on the browning. Remove from oven, let sit to cool. Serve with ice cream~

You can see the finished product up top there, It was the first picture.

Do you have family dinners? I still try to connect every Sunday with my family.  When my children were little we had sit down meals every evening. That’s how I was raised. It was important to both Paul and I to have meals together with out children. It was our way to connect and touch base with the kids and their lives.  Many evenings through the years we’d have quick meals,  because either one or both kids would be shuffled out the front door for activities.  Today its a different family dynamics. Kids are grown and doing their own thing, Paul and I find ourselves most evenings on our own. I won’t give up on my Sunday dinners though, for as long as I am able I hope to have that connection each Sunday around my barn wood table. My most favourite time of the week. Sunday Family Dinners~

Well my lovelies, until next time<3

via The Grace In Grief ~Look book pt2

Whatever it is you are going through, unfortunately things are not going to change over night. So you’re going to have to live through it. In this very moment, whether you are reading my words in a hospital room, court house, your bedroom, car or work place. Look up, right now…look around you. There is always a reason to fight, when all else seems hopeless just remember that this moment in time is going to be your new normal. Lets start by accepting that and moving forward. Embrace the suck.
There really is no grey area, this reality is pretty black and white. You either accept it or you don’t, but my advice to you is too keep moving forward. Breathe. That smell you might be inhaling right now, thats life. You have many reasons to be thankful for it. Trust me, I know it might seem hopeless and daunting right now. It may not look or appeal to you as a life you want to live.
But you and I…we are going to get you through this together. I am going to show you that surviving through a catastrophe and finding the grace in grief will bring you to a place in your life you could never have imagined. A beautiful unexpected desitination.

Its all in how you choose to handle it. For now, if this is the beginning of your journey and you have doubts in me, thats ok. Stay here with me, I am going to give you permission to be angry, resentful, negative and possibly hateful. I’m just not going to let you stay there too long.

{My dear readers, this post is not directly related to my life. Our situation has been different from some of the other parents I have worked with or counselled over the years. Although I speak the truth in this post, Paul and I did hear a lot of the same things many other parents heard and had to deal with on a regular basis. For us, our child had an injury so there was always hope of a excellent recovery. We had to deal with other types of comments….ones that were meant to make us feel better but honestly sometimes hurt so bad.}

It happens too most of us parents with children who have disabilities. We hear all kinds of statements “You are amazing, I could never do it.” “It must be so hard”. “I can’t imagine how tiring it must be.” “You have so much on your plate, I couldn’t imagine the challenges.”
We hear it all.

Now I am not writing this blog about my life. So don’t get confused or come at me with comments regarding my experiences.
Yes I did hear all of those wonderfully insulting things at one time or another, and at the time it stung so bad. Having had 20 years of experience living my life, today I have learned that those who have said to me “I couldn’t do it”. Meaning not being able to handle my life, I would have to say I agree. I have grown to see just how incredibly stupid and lazy some parents can be. Eeeeek did I say that out loud?
Today I am able to see exactly how hard Paul and I worked to give our kids the best possible life. Not much stopped us from living a full life. I have seen first hand how some parents just don’t have it in them. I truly believe if given my circumstances they wouldn’t have been capable of doing what we have done.

I am writing this post because there are many “new” mom’s just entering this wonderfully chaotic life of raising a child with medically fragile conditions. Whether it be physically, cognitively, developmentally or mentally diagnosed circumstances. I want you too know that you will hear these words but do not for one minute let them make you feel poorly about your life situation.

Coming in after 20 years of raising a child with a few medical statuses, let me tell you…they mean no harm. They speak too soon without thinking what they are saying..and by today’s standards of parenting they are probably right “They probably couldn’t do it”,

With all that said, for the most part you and I both know if anyone was thrown into our life they too would survive. We were thrown into our lives, without any warning and we are surviving.
We also have to admit, although things can be very difficult and challenging at times there isn’t too much we’d change. Maybe we would change a few outside influences on our daily life, but we would all agree…we’d never change our children.

Sometime’s their statements are true, we do have extra challenges that most parents don’t have to deal with. Looking in from the outside our lives might look a little different from your’s. I hope you do however recognize that our lives are very similar as well.

We may have extra appointments, hospital stays, changes in curriculum, health conditions and worrying situations that can change at any time. But we live our lives the same as anyone else. We start each day with a smile, breakfast, morning routines, school, extra-curricular activities, homework, bath time and bed time routine. We are the same, just sometimes there’s extra things that need tending too. We love our children and our so thankful for their presence in our lives. I think all us parents with special needs children could agree that we have a little something extra. Its something no one else could understand unless you lived it. The love we have for our children is a extremely powerful force. You can argue that you too love you children more than anything else in this world. But us mom’s who give thanks at the end of the day because our children are healthy, in their beds, warm and smelling the sweet scents of bath time bubbles…we never take that for granted. Every single night we sit down at the end of the day and give thanks for another beautiful day that ended without incident. I know for me, that has always been the best feeling.

If I am going to be honest, sometimes these comments made me feel like you felt my child must be difficult to love. That if you were given my situation you wouldn’t be capable of loving or parenting my child. Sometimes I felt you were saying that you were fortunate that my child was not your’s because that would be terrible or tragic. Now under my circumstances obviously it was tragic, the accident paralyzed my son. He became a quadriplegic at a very young age. Raising him however was not tragic. (Many of those statements came from parents I have spoken too over the years. I have never felt like anyone thought it would be difficult to love my child.)

My advice to anyone who may not understand what a family is going through while raising a child with special needs, is too just give encouragement. We are not looking for pity or praise, we just want you to understand that although we might have more on our plates our life isn’t much different from yours. If you were to find yourself in my shoes whether through an accident or cancer, illness diagnosis YOU too would find it in yourself to persevere. It is human nature.

Always remember you are not above pain, suffering and tragedy. It can strike you at any time as well. SO live your life to the fullest, don’t take anything for granted and love your life every single day.
Until next time my lovelies, good night and god bless~

There have been many scenario’s in which I have said to much about my son’s disability and health conditions.
Some situations it has been to defend him, in which we have been told “he doesn’t look very handicapped.” One time after hearing those words from a grown man at our local Costco, Paul wanted to take him back outside. YES my Paul. lol….
Most times when we have needed to talk about our son’s special needs and medical condition’s it has truly been to explain to someone our life position.

I suppose in the very beginning when we were in the midst of living in the hospital, it became the daily topic of conversation. Naturally, it was in the forefront of all discussions and conversations with doctors, therapists, surgeons, family and friends. We did ALOT of talking regarding Braden’s disability. It was the most important thing in our lives.

As time went on and we adjusted to our “new” normal, discussing our business became more of a private matter. I actually clammed up through some years, sort of stopped talking about his disability. We went through a time where Braden honestly did not “look” disabled. He was small enough to be carried places, or placed in a wagon or stroller but he was old enough to run and play in a park with other kids. So it was confusing I’m sure for those looking at us from the outside wondering why our little boy was being carried all over the park.

I have had countless conversations with mothers, fathers and children who questioned Braden’s lack of mobility. I suppose if we had put him in a wheelchair right away people wouldn’t have stared as much. Pretty explanatory when a child is sitting in a wheelchair. But when you see a curious, happy, well spoken 4 year old who isn’t getting out of his stroller to play…people want to know why?!

Over the years, I began to realize that no one could truly understand what we were going through. In our defence, there are not many infants who survive accidents and injuries like the one Braden sustained. So we found ourselves often lonely and only wanting to be understood. Many times people would “lump” Braden into a category similar to Spina Bifida, or Cerebral Palsy. I guess we could agree that it was pretty much the same thing. However to Paul and I, Braden was recovering from a injury. We had always had hope he would walk again some day…luckily he did. Thank god he did recover remarkably and he walked with a cane for a few years.

Well then how did he end up in that Power wheelchair?…That’s another story, and one that effected our family tremendously.

For us, we didn’t like that some professionals were treating Braden like he had a “condition”, He was born with the capability to walk, he was walking at the time of my accident. I always felt I had to explain that~

I’m pretty sure that’s why I found myself talking to strangers about my son’s disability. So many people assuming he was born with a disability. That bothered me. I needed them to know who he is, what his story was. In the early years I was always explaining how he was injured. Then I grew tired of it, it no longer mattered what people thought.

I did try some “support” groups but those were filled with pissed off mom’s who hated their lives. I didn’t have any reason to hate my life, I was thankful. I almost lost my son, I was blessed.
Most of those mom’s had so much in common. They could all relate to one another, I didn’t fit in. So then I found myself once again lonely. I suppose maybe that’s why Paul and I are so close. Even during times of uncertainty we always had a connection because we were the only two who understood what each other was going through. He’s the only one I ever wanted during difficult times.

There has been times when I have been chastised for my Superman tattoo. There again, when someone makes a comment you feel you need to go into detail regarding the meaning behind that ink. Most times they look like an idiot and feel horrible, eventually I stopped explaining. I don’t care anymore…lol…I’m past it.

I suppose I have learned over the years when its beneficial to talk about his disability and when its not. My advice to you would be to determine what is it you are providing by opening up to someone. If you are supporting someone living with a similar situation then by all means share your story. For me however, if its someone just being nosey I find its way more satisfying walking away. I have been in so many waiting rooms where those nosey mom’s are watching you intently while their bratty child is destroying the place. Sometimes their kids will stare, and if they ask questions of course I will answer them. I’ve even gotten down to their level in play rooms and encouraged them to play with Braden. Its amazing how accepting children can be. Without explanations or curiosity most times kids will jump right in and ask him “do you want this toy?” “Do you want to try this one?”
Excepting, innocent and kind…..most times.

Don’t be naïve to think however sometimes the parents start asking questions, and although I would love nothing more than to sit with you and tell you all my life story, I don’t have the time. My energy was spent assisting my child so he could play with yours.

Bottom line is they don’t need to know, preserve your child’s privacy. Keep explanations short, the less you share the better you will feel. Trust me~

Today I have different views to share, today I am all about education. My voice has changed from sharing my personal stories to sharing my personal opinion. I love nothing more that educating people who do not understand differently-able. My dear friend, if you are reading this and are a parent of a child with special needs do not be afraid to educate. Share your knowledge with others. Teach those around you how they can encourage and help your child become capable in an environment not suited for their special needs. I mean by that, if your child is having a difficult time playing with others because its not a suitable spot…show them how to make it happen. Explain to the children and their parents that your child isn’t able to jump around in the ball pit. But if you pass him/her some balls they can throw them up high and you can catch them. Show them how they can incorporate your child. While you are doing this you are modelling for your own child. You are teaching them how to become an advocate for themselves. Children love to be helpers, when they do good they feel good. Share many thank you’s with them. Tell them because they helped include your child they have made them so happy. They had so much fun playing with them. Give credit where credit is due.

To all those who helped me provide Braden with a most excellent childhood Thank you~ To all those kids who stayed around to play, got down on the grass and made Braden laugh..Thank you~
We were busy parents, but we loved every minute of it!
Until next time, good night and god bless~

Book writing days, just a little insert~

“Between you and I, I had been born with a Congential Heart Defect. My chest bore a zippered like scar that terrified me, what would the man who I was going to share my most intimate moments with think of these battle scars?

As a child, I had two open heart surgeries and had travelled to Toronto Sick Childrens hospital yearly for regualr checkups. I certainly was not new to childhood illness or trauma I too had suffered some pretty substancial medical conditions.

Unfortunatly that wasn’t the only burden too bare. At the young age of 14, I had corrective back surgery for Scolisois. My spine was curving leaving me with a croocked back, unaligned hips and pain. Being a young teenager in the 80’s didn’t make having these challenges any easier for me. Back in those days there were no readily available enlightening quotes posted on Pinterest echoing words of wisdom. Anyone with a life changing event or illness were certainly not considered a Survior or a warrior. “~Christine Martz

With having been off Facebook know for sometime, I have had the chance to start writing again. I am loving it!
The words are coming to me so easily, and the story I am sharing with the world is beginning to take shape. I wanted to share with you just a little tid bit. My book is a about our life, it is a story of perseverance, love and triumph.

Although this book is our story, its also a story about finding the Grace in Grief.
Please stay tuned for further developments 😉

So I just want to take the time to publically share how proud I am of Braden. He recently took a trip to the Dominican with two friends and Kailey. He managed to book this trip all on his own, for some that may not seem like a big deal. For Braden, its not a big deal.

Me however, finds this as a milestone reached. One in which so many people tried to convince me wouldn’t happen.

Why wouldn’t it happen you ask? Because those people felt I was making too many mistakes raising him, and that my decisions for him did not promote independence.

Some of those people felt I was too involved with his daily life, I didn’t allow him to be on his own.

In my defense I was only protecting him from their views and opinions from those assholes.

Today, Braden is over it all, he by no means finds himself “special” for his abilities for voicing his rights or pushing for his deserved quality of life. So this post is not about him, the whole attention embarrasses him as he doesn’t see it as I do.

This is for me.

The countless nights I spent screaming into my pillow, or the afternoon tears that I wiped away before turning to face my children. Or the meetings that I sat not so quietly listening to someone who “disagrees” with my judgement.

There are many examples that I could share with you, but one of the most recurring ones was my decision to NOT put Braden on a “Special Needs school bus”. Every single first day of school, the bus would show up and wait for me to get him out the door. Every single September I’d tell them the same thing ” I told the school that I would be driving Braden this year.” They just couldn’t get it through their heads that I didn’t want Braden on that bus, how awful it would have been to send his sister on a difference bus with all his neighbour hood friends. While he shuttles off on the little bus, without any of his friends. NOT on my watch bitch.

That wasn’t the only reason, I was a stay at home mom and truly had no issues taking them to school. Many of the other mom’s were driving their kids to school, why was it such a big deal for me?

Honestly, I would tell them NO school bus thank you…but it would still show up and it made me feel for just a moment that maybe I was making a mistake.

In my reality however, in the real world we don’t have “special needs” airplanes, trains or even destination travel vehicles. Did they ever think of that? NO, because they only worked in the world of “special needs” kids, they didn’t have a clue what living in it was like.

My desires from a very young age was to teach Braden just that, things will go to shit in life and you’re going to have to problem solve and find solutions. Most of my reasons for not following the aggressively passive school board regulations was my appetite to teach Braden how to function in a NOT readily accessible world for physically challenged individuals.

My anger stems from those who made me feel “terrible” for my resistance for following the guidelines placed on those in the school system with disabilities. They were wrong. Much of their governing was not suited for the best interest of Braden, and that wasn’t going to work with me.

I had meeting after meeting with people trying to tell me how I was making mistakes, how I was doing harm because “He’ll never be independent”. Talking behind my back, judging me and then calling me in to discuss the “challenges I was creating” for Braden, the teacher and classroom. Imagine feeling like a burden or a problem maker when all you wanted was the best for your child.

To those people I say “Go fuck yourself”.

Every single one of you who rolled your eyes at me or turned away with curse words at the tip of your tongue. I would love to meet you today, I would love nothing more than to sit down and have coffee to discuss how “dependant” I have made Braden.

I must share with all of you, that my son single-handedly booked his own trip to the Dominican, found his own accessible hotel, accessible room complete with accessible washroom. Booked his own accessible transportation to and from the airport, and handled transportation to an excursion in the Dominican. If I hadn’t had taken the path that I chose when he was young how would he have learned to self-direct the services he needs during times of disorder or uncertainty.

You see, when it came time to leave for his Monkey excursion during his holiday the tour bus showed up and was not accessible. If I hadn’t taken the time during his childhood to prepare him for problems how could he have functioned in times like this. He knew exactly what to do, he didn’t panic, didn’t get upset, he took charge and had his needs met.

That’s exactly what those people in the school system didn’t understand, they don’t live it! How could they understand the problems that arise. Still infuriates me!

Maybe I need to just explain why choosing to drive him to school as opposed to using the school bus caused him to be an independent thinker. Not everyone in our life had a wheelchair accessible vehicle. So those times when I possibly got sick, or was running late Braden would be stuck at school. Guess what? Who’s going to pick him up? We would have to problem solve, nana could go get him, or maybe a friend would get him and bring him to me. Whatever the situation was he had to adapt and learn to be flexible. Things weren’t always going to work out as we originally planned. Those situations happen to kids everyday, when a parent is running late afterschool so you send your child home with another student. I wanted my son to have those experiences as well, we needed chaos in our lives….its those moments that help us grow. Possibly if he had not experienced those moments, he would not have been prepared to handle the mobility problems faced in the Dominican.

He managed to travel successfully with all his friends, equipment, supplies and making sure (on his own) that everything was accounted for, let me tell you after years of travelling this is not an easy task

How’s that for independence? How did I do know? and that’s just one of the most amazing things he has done ALL on his own. NO help from anyone. His own apartment, his own truck, college and dealing with all his medical supports, equipment vendors, doctors and everything related to his overall health.

I am so proud of him, you are beyond amazing and continue to impress and surprise us daily. I like to believe it had something to do with all our sweat, blood and tears…but in reality I know this is all him.

I was difficult, challenging and at times one hell of a bitch to deal with.(Still can be) Although I cried, screamed and fell to the ground on some occasions, I did get back up and each time just a little stronger. With all that, we have taught him to do the same.

I would also like to thank those of you who did support us, those who stood tall beside us during difficult moments. The ones who never backed down from the school board, and always put Braden’s best interest above and at times in front of even your job security. We did a great job friends, thank you for your dedication to my family xo

Next trip is Chicago and then Dubai. With each trip we worry less, you did a great job son. It was so nice to lay our heads each night on our pillows and not worry.

**I also want to make it very clear to those of you who may have rode the “special” needs school bus or any parents who make the choice to send their child to school on the bus. I DO NOT in any way find fault in that. If you enjoy the bus, if it makes your life easier to use that service then I do believe you are doing the right thing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not saying my way was better, I do not think I am a better parent because of my choices. I do feel I am a better parent to Braden because of my choices. I did what I felt was best for us. SO please do not feel like I am in disagreement with you, I know you are doing the best for you. I truly see nothing wrong with the school bus, I just feel if I didn’t want to use it I shouldn’t have been made to feel bad for saying no.

Well my lovelies, rant over.

I’m out,

Cheers~

100 Things I Want To Teach My Daughter # 60~ Your father was the first man to ever love you, no man will love you as much as he does~

As parents we truly didn’t think it was possible to love another child as much as we loved Braden, oh how we were wrong.

It amazes me how parents love their children, the love is beyond anything you are capable of understanding until you too become a mother. For a parent, there is nothing they wouldn’t do to protect, nurture, care for, feed and love their own offspring.

Murder~ absolutely, both your father and I could murder someone if we knew it was what needed to happen Inorder to save your life. I believe most parents would agree. However as we’ve gotten older, realistically it wouldn’t be in the best interest of you to murder someone. Then we’d be locked away and unavailable to you. So those of you reading and thinking that’s immature to think you’d murder someone, i’m well aware of the consequences of that. On a another note, i do have documented PTSD..so any future boyfriends take note its something I could use in the court of law as a defence 😉

Dying~ again, we would both die if it meant saving you or your brothers life. No questions asked.

So, this just took a very dark unexpected turn, luckily for us and most parents we are not going to have to face this dilemma in our life time. Thankfully, we live descent lives with good family and friends. BUT….one does raise the question about murder and dying while watching a really good episode of criminal minds. “Would we murder someone if they had our child?” It does happen, if only on Criminal Minds….it is something we all think about.
Hopefully that brings a small bit of understanding around the concept of parental love.

When I found out we were having a little girl, we both cried. We couldn’t believe we were going to have the “Million dollar family”. A boy and a girl, so perfect. Blessed~

I was so excited to be a mom of a little girl, I had only boys up until then in my life. My younger brother who I helped care for during the much younger years and then your brother. A daughter was so exciting. It was going to be even scarier for your dad. He was the youngest of 6, and the only real baby experience he had was with Braden. He didn’t have any expertise on girls. He was so willing to learn though, some dads have a fear when they find out its a girl. They worry about diaper changes, cleaning them properly, worry about girl fights, bullying, boyfriends, periods, heartbreaks, sport injuries and bad moods.
YOUR dad….he was outstanding. He did worry slightly about dirty diapers and making sure you were properly cleaned. Let’s be honest, its a lot different changing a diaper with a little boy.

He had patience and willingness to learn, and i guess it helped that he had a shit load of paediatric intensive care training from all the hospital visits with Braden. Caring for a medically fragile infant made diaper changes “easy peasy” 😉

When it came to raising you and all the “girl” things most dad’s worry about, he always remained the calm, reasonable one. He managed to always keep things in perspective, his calm presence just didn’t help me out at the time, it also kept you on the straight and narrow path. He just always has that effect on you, i am so grateful for that. He is not dramatic, and he doesn’t allow the drama either. I think you grew up respecting that and somehow he could always bring comfort to situations when I was even upset.

Don’t get me wrong, when you came home upset about something or someone he wanted to take a sledge hammer to their head. Someone hurts his daughter….they must pay.

On the other side, you could do no wrong in his eyes. I truly believe you could bold face lie to him and he’d believe anything you told him. He thought/thinks you are perfect. I don’t think there is anything you could do to change his perspective on you…that includes the 3 dents on the BLKRABIT.

I know one thing for sure, when it comes to you his number one concern is your happiness. Besides your health, he worries most about your level of happiness. He has taken on a roll as a father to be sure you go through this thing we called life with a smile.
He wants you to work hard, be a nice person, love your family, be independent and find your own joy, Whatever that may be, he is one guy who will always respect your choices.

He is proud of you, knows you work hard, thinks you sleep to much lol to be honest we all do. At the end of the day however he sees your dedication, he knows you have what it takes to be successful. He’s watched you do that from day one.
When we chose to have another baby, after having my car accident and while raising a medically fragile little boy everyone thought we were crazy. Looking back, i’m not too sure what we were thinking…but i can say for sure it was the best thing we could have done for our family. Bringing you into the picture I truly believe was the piece that healed us. We all needed you. Guess who’s idea it was to have another baby? Yep..it was dad’s.

I was terrified, so scared to commit to such a life changing event. My hands were full, my heart was

missing something though..your dad knew that. He was right, and he reassured me daily that things were going to be ok. He wanted another baby to complete us, and that’s just what you did.

Ok lets take a look at the second man (besides Papa and Braden) who will love you beyond measure.
Your Husband~
When I truly think of this future man coming into our lives, standing beside you for the rest of your life all I can think of is what will my role be to make sure this man is happy too. I can’t even fathom how important he is going to be to me. Know, I’m not trying to make this about me..let me explain. If this man is going to be sharing your life with you, and your whole life I have been beside you then this man is taking my role. His presence in your life is going to be so important to me, if he is happy he will make you happy.
He is a partner who you have chosen to build a life outside of the one you have here. We will always be a big part of your life, but there comes a time when mom’s and dad’s step aside and become spectators.

I know you can’t even begin to understand at this point in your life the love you will share with your partner. Although I claim no other man will love you as much as your father does, I’m afraid this may not be completely true. If you have the right man at the alter…he’s going to come a close second to your dad. That’s the way it should be, I would expect nothing less for any man who steps into your life. He will be expected to put you above and beyond anyone else in his life. You want one secret to a long successful happy marriage, put each other first ALWAYS~
That means even before your father and I. With that said, and with both your father and I understanding that kind of commitment to each other, don’t think for one moment your dad is going to let any bloke come into our lives and take you away. This young man is going to have to answer some pretty serious questions. I know your father will make him his best friend, as papa did with him. Cause once again there is nothing more important than your happiness.
Know I say this with such ease, but don’t be fooled fox. Dad and I are masters achievers at giving you the space you need inorder to find your authentic self, that will include your marriage and family. We promise to always respect your choices, boundaries and beliefs..that is as long as it is not dangerous, abusive, corrupt or causes you any kind of pain and suffering. My god if that ever becomes the case, then he better run.

Do I think this man will love you more than your father? (The reason behind this post)
My answer is….”He better damn well try”.
He will most certainly love you more than your father, but in a completely different way. A fathers love is unconditional. But a husband’s love is a choice. He will love you because he wants too, and he should love you more than anyone else in this world.
I remember when you kids were little, and I would question who do I love more my husband or my children. It’s such a tough question to try to answer and honestly I don’t think there’s an answer. But now that we are at this phase in life, I can see why it was so important to put your father first. You kids are leaving the per say “nest” and building your own lives. Someday you will be putting all your time, love, laughter, sweat and tears into someone else. If you stop doing that then over time, the love will lessen. It will fade, stretch and the threads will start to tear.

So, yes my advice as a wife is this..you should love your husband more than anyone else in this world. That doesn’t mean you can’t love other people in your life equally, it just means besides yourself, put him first. Please expect the same in return. It is his job to fulfill his agreement to give 100% of him to you.

It’s all a balance Fox, there is no right or wrong answer. I can say with certainty, your father will be watching and listening from afar. He will always be on standby, ready to help, protect or encourage you. From day one he made that commitment, because he loves you so very much. His expectation will be the same for your future husband. I can say with confidence, your father loves you enough to make your husband his best friend. Just as papa did~

I asked dad to write a couple words for you, I wanted to include him in this post. I asked him three questions and told him to answer in his own words. I said to keep it simple but factual. Here is what he said.

What do you hope she finds in a husband, and what’s the most important attribute’s he should have?

He should be independent, be confident and can handle being on his own.
Make sure he’s aware of Kail’s feelings not just about himself.

Will you always be there for her? No matter what the circumstances.

Beggars never go away. So it’s very difficult to keep them away lol. Just kidding. I will always be there for kail. She’s my baby girl and there is not even a second thought about it.

What is the most important message for a happy marriage?

Being married is a job and you will always be working at it. Keep communication open. Have time for being a couple.

There you have it Fox, I hope you can come away from this blog post with a sense of how much you are loved.
Until next time,
Love Mom~
Sent from my iPhone

Thanks for joining me!

Welcome to my little corner of the universe. Thanks for joining me here. I actually came here from Blogspot, unfortunately they were not meeting my blogging needs any more so I decided to try a new route. I found WordPress and decided to give it a try. Please be patient as I figure out all the new and exciting things WordPress offers. I am not by any means “tech savvy” I am completely new at this and truly quite nervous. My name is Christine, and I am a married mother of 2 young adults. Married to my best friend for nearly 25 years. I am currently writing a book, and this blog is continuing to bring me creative thoughts and inspiration. I would love for you to join me on this adventure, come by occassionally to see what content i’ve created. My book is titled The Grace in Grief, and it is about our journey through pain, guilt, perseverance and love. How a young family has overcome giant obstacles, trials and tribulations relating to a very serious car accident that left our young son paralyzed from the neck down. My story as a mother through the tears, pain and laughter as I find my way raising a medically fragile son who is eventually confined to a wheelchair.  How I cope with guilt, marriage and bringing a beautiful baby girl into the family after such heart breaking loss. There has been a lot of suffering, but I am happy to be sharing all the wonderful things we have endured as well. I hope to share my thoughts, lessons, secrets and knowledge with you.  Thanks for stopping by, i’m Looking forward to chatting with you~