Hello fellow bloggers and friends, day 1 is off to a great start. I’ve made it here and I have lots to share. First let me ask how your St.Patricks Day was? DId anyone else have a celebration of any sorts?

This year we didn’t get out to celebrate St.Patty’s Day, we have a lot of home renovations happening around here and so we were busy preparing for painters. Paul had to remove trim, fill holes in the walls that once held up pictures or shelf’s. We were busy cleaning our cupboards, closets and whatever else got in the way of our walls being painted. It was busy. We were both exhausted by the end of the day. It didn’t stop us from having some drinks and playing a game during dinner with our son. He was home this year as well for St.Patricks Day. This past week was busy for him. He has a lot on his mind and is making some pretty big exciting decisions for himself. It’s so rewarding watching your children reach out and expand their horizon’s, grow into adults and make life changing choices. Unfortunately he doens’t want me to share his news, he’s a bit more reserved and private than I am. When you have a proud mom, sometimes she just wants to sing your praises as loud as she can. So inside I am one elated mom.

I suppose really there was some celebrating at home taking place, not just for St. Patty’s day but also for Braden and his accomplishments.

With not going out, I decided to try a new recipe. It is an Irish one, and I have never tried anything like it before.

Guinness Braised Short Rib Shepards Pie~

Oh my goodness….this was amazing! I would recommend it to anyone.

It was easy enough, but time consuming. It is definitely a hearty meal that would  be perfect for a dinner party or family gathering.

Let me start by sharing what’s in it.

2 Tablespoons of Olive Oil

4 pounds of Short ribs, about 6 short ribs

1 whole onion diced

2 tablespoons of butter

2 whole carrot, medium diced

6 cloves of garlic, crushed

1 bottle (12 oz) of Guinness Extra Stout

1 quart of Beef stock (32 ounces)

Salt and pepper to season

1 1/2 pounds of gold potatoes

1 cup of Irish cheddar, shredded (Dubliner)

1/2 cup of milk

1/2 stick of butter

2 tablespoons Olive Oil

1 whole onion diced

2 whole carrots diced

1 package Baby Bella mushrooms, quartered

1 cup of frozen peas

1/4 cup of flour.

Directions:

Heat olive oil in a large 9-quart bottomed pot over medium high heat. Season the ribs on both sides with salt and pepper. Place ribs in the pot brown on both sides. 2 minutes per side. Remove ribs to a plate and set aside.

Seared ribs with oil, set aside on plate.

Melt butter in the same pot and add the diced onion, carrots and garlic.

Diced carrots and onion, missing the garlic. I took the picture before I diced the garlic. Don’t forget the garlic 🙂

There really is nothing better than the smell of cooking butter and onion. The aroma was to die for.

A cook the veggies until they are slightly tender, about 8 minutes. Add the Guinness to deglaze, breaking up any browned bits on the bottom of the pot. Bring to a boil and reduce the beer slightly, about 5-8 minutes. Add the beef stock and bring up to a boil. Reduce liquid to a simmer and place the reserved short ribs back in the pot. Cover and simmer on low for 3 hour until short ribs are fork tender.

I placed a lid on my Pampered Chef RockCrock Dutch oven and let it simmer for 3 hours!!

While the short ribs are cooking, prepare the mashed potatoes. Peel and dice the potatoes. Place them in a large pot and cover with cold water. Add salt to the water. Cover and bring to a boil. Once boiling, uncover and simmer until the potatoes are tender and easily pierced with a fork, Drain the potatoes place back in the pot and add milk, butter and cheese.  Most people have their own way of making mashed potatoes. I made them the way I usually do. Similar to this recipe i just use more butter. I like a creamy rich mashed potatoe.

Mash together the ingredients listed, butter, milk and cheese. Season with salt and pepper. Set aside.

Remove the braised ribs from the pot to a plate and discard the bones. Shred with two forks and set aside. Honestly the meat fell apart. It was amazing.  Strain out the solids in the pot and reserve the liquid for the Guinness Gravy.

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Melt the butter with the olive oil in a large heavy bottomed pot over medium high heat. Add the diced carrots and onion (this part confused me, as I felt i was repeating a step. All is well however, just keep going). Sauté until tender, about 3 minutes.  Add the mushrooms and stir in. Cook for 2 minutes, until browned. Add the flour. Stir together for 2 minutes until flour is cooked and slightly toasted.

Pour in the reserved liquid and stir to create the gravy. Simmer until thickened, about 10 minutes. Turn off heat, add the shredded beef short ribs and frozen peas. Fold in to combine everything evenly.

Butter a large casserole dish, spread the short rib mixture evenly in the bottom of the dish. Top with the mashed potatoes, starting around the edges to create a seal to prevent the mixture from bubbling up and use a spatula to smooth. Add more cheese  to top, you can never have enough cheese.

I used a piping bag to pipe my potatoes on top.. I wouldn’t recommend this, its time consuming and not necessary. ALso, I would use more potatoes than this recipe calls for. I should have doubled the potatoes.

Place the casserole dish on a baking sheet, place in oven. Bake for 25 minutes or just until  potatoes begin to brown. Remove to a cooling rack for at least 15 minutes before serving.

Garnish with your choice of chives or green onion.

And that’s it my friends~

I got the biggest compliment from my son, he is a regular at Finn McCools. An Irish pub/restaurant in our area. He loves their food and one of his favourite dishes is the Shepard’s Pie. I asked him how did mine compare to Finn McCool’s?? He replied “It’s so much better mom”….

that made all the work worth it!!

I hope you all had a lovely weekend, I am happy to be back blogging and hope I can continue to find creative content to share with you~

Until next time, God Bless~

I kinda feel like a chump lately. I’m not putting the effort into this blog like I had anticipated.` I’m not trying to make excuses…but we do have ALOT on the go right now in life.

But because I do love to be creative and challenge myself I have decided to commit to blogging every day next week.

There was a time when I use to blog daily, i had theme days and recipes that I shared. I loved it!! So much has changed Since then, my family life is different, I have a job that takes up time and I guess i’ve Just lost a bit of my creative mind. My interests have changed, i can’t really blog about my kids anymore, they are both adults and have their own lives that most of the time don’t include me.

I could continue to blog about my life and all the challenges it brings or all the wonderful moments and celebrations we continue to experience. But there again, a lot of it is things I may not want to share. So that leaves me limited and sometimes frustrated.

Well from here I promise that next week I will bring back some creativity, I will have a plan and I will execute it. If you are still here, and reading my blog I want to thank you for your commitment. I appreciate your time~

Hoping you all have a wonderful safe St.Patricks Day. Top of the Day to Ya’

Cheers xx

My first insert of  My book The Grace In Grief 

March 9th 1995, the day that change our life forever

I sat at that stop sign, watching Braden lull himself to sleep his eyes getting heavy with each blink slightly closing his eyes to a deep slumber. Why couldn’t you have napped today?” His schedule was going to be off, a grumpy boy would be handed over to the most relaxed, caring day care provider. Poor girl.

There was a white van sitting at the stop sign across the road from me. Students coming and going from the high school that sat diagonally opposite from me.
I looked left, checked right and then waited for the white van to proceed and make his turn. As he pulled out from his stop sign turning left onto the highway crossing the yellow line and heading down the road. I look left again, and then proceeded out onto the road to make my left hand turn. As I was just crossing the yellow line myself I heard the loudest crash ever. It didn’t register at first where that loud obnoxious noice came from, and I couldn’t see where it was because everything went black. Oh my god, I can’t see and my car is spinning. My thoughts immediately turn to Braden, I reach my arm across for him and he is there. He isn’t crying so that’s a good thing. He can’t be hurt if he isn’t crying.
But he was too silent, and that silence was terrifying. He made no noise, no movement and no response to his surroundings. I looked out the front window of my car, there was another car about 30 feet ahead of me. I couldn’t see the driver, holy shit is he dead? Where is he? I couldn’t worry about that right now, my eyes returned to Braden and my thoughts resumed back to him. He was trying to scream, I could see his mouth moving but nothing was coming out. I needed to make eye contact with him, so I got out of my car and ran to the passengers side door. This was the first view of my car, the door had substantial damage. I had such a hard time trying to open that door, but when a mother is desperate to save her baby the strength comes from a fire so deep inside it nearly frightened me. I managed to pry the door open enough to get closer to Braden. He was only looking forward with his mouth gaping open trying so hard to scream. Deep inside me I knew this was not good, but all I keep thinking was thank god he is alive. Tears were running from his eyes, and now I could see the blood trickling down his face. Where was the blood coming from, I was so confused. He was in a car seat, he didn’t leave the car so how does he have blood on his face. I knew not to touch him, but honestly I was terrified. I started looking around and noticed people coming from the high school. Some neighbours approached as well. One teacher came running across the street and went straight to Braden in the car. He could see Braden was having trouble breathing so he cautiously tilted his head back enough to provide a clear air entry. Someone from the high school had called 911, but they seemed to be taking forever.

Helllooooo my lovelies!!! I have missed you, I won’t make any promises here but I hope to commit to a better regular post upload. Life has been busy, its been actually a bit chaotic. A lot of anxiety related to care routines for Braden, new staff, new routine. Honestly it is all things we are in control of, its just not going the way we had hoped. I think we are heading back to where we began.

But let me explain a few things….as many of you know I am in a year of healing. I am learning, rebuilding and learning how to deal with many emotions. One thing I have had to “work on” is confrontation. I am dealing with how to become assertive without getting “angry”.
So here is my first confession…I have a tool box with all sorts of tools that I can use when dealing with difficult, frustrating situations. My problem is that I keep using the same tool when dealing with conflict. I am not reaching for any other tools, I keep using the same darn screwdriver.
Screwdriver = Anger

These past few years, as I have mentioned before I have become tired. With that I have withdrawn myself from many situations. I just don’t have the fight in me…most times my fights become incredibly tiring.
Let’s go back…
When I was 23 years old, I had a terrible car accident that severely paralyzed my son. During the first lets say post 15 years, I spent much of my time “fighting” for his rights. Eventually and fairly quickly I had learned when you have a “screaming mother, taking a temper tantrum in ICU” because her demands are not being met…people move pretty quickly. I got results immediately. Now I wasn’t a tyrant. I was a mother who was going to protect and provide her son with whatever I felt he deserved. MOST times I worked closely and comfortable with hospital staff. I really didn’t have a lot of conflict with them. I was blessed, they wholeheartedly met our needs as parents, patients and even co-workers. There was only a few times in the beginning years I became a monster with hospital staff.
I remember one incident, which we laugh about today. At the time I don’t think I had ever experienced this level of anger. Braden’s Orthopedic surgeon ordered a head, neck and back brace made specifically for Braden. It was custom made, and used after his first Spinal Cord Surgery. So Braden was in ICU recovering from surgery and this brace was applied. It kept him completely confined. It had a chin strap that kept his mouth closed, it made it so difficult for him to try to react to stimulus. He couldn’t open his mouth at all, he cried silently of course because of his tracheostomy. That was so hard to see, he made no sound but tears streamed down his face. I asked the nurse to remove the chin strap, and she refused. I told her I don’t care what protocol is…I am removing the chin strap ASAP. She then said “let’s leave it for now, and we will call DR.Viviani up when he gets the chance”.
Well this is where I had learned if you scream loud enough you get results…and really what are they going to do to a mother who is distraught while her son fights for his life? They can’t kick you out of ICU…well at least back then they wouldn’t dream of that.
So my big mouth demanded that the DR come to ICU immediately. They tracked him down, he was in the OR, but I told them to tell him to come up as soon as he gets out of the OR. I was loosing my mind over this brace and Braden’s discomfort. NOT to mention he didn’t write any notes saying we could hold Braden, If the DR didn’t write any notes about do’s and don’t’s then they didn’t let you do anything until permission was given. I get that today, being a nurse and all.
As a mother…I didn’t give a shit about his protocol or his do’s and don’ts.
He came right up after his surgery, it was about 2 hours later. He still had his surgery gown and hat on…lol I was actually impressed and very grateful. He came in, looked at the brace, removed the strap and agreed he didn’t need it. Then he gave permission for Paul and I too hold him, he wrote that out because I made sure of it. I thanked him for coming up so quickly, he was a great surgeon but he was quiet and reserved and difficult to get to know. He liked us…I know he did!

My temper tantrums continued through his school years, and once again if I didn’t get what I wanted I would just throw a fit, get really loud and eventually I would get what I wanted. At times I was relentless.

This has all changed, the last time we had a hospital admittance Braden was admitted to an adult ward. He is an adult, and he was initially sharing a room with an older gentleman. Well this isn’t going to work well for me..where am I going to sleep? I had two choices this very first night he was admitted. This is where my friends I have found myself today….
1, If I take a temper tantrum and demand he has a private room so I can spend the night, then technically they can call security and have me removed. Becoming a nurse taught me this.
2. Shut down.

I took the second.
And this has been my coping technique since. I don’t have the skills to negotiate, understand and listen to others if I disagree. SO I have been shutting down, I am frightened of who I become when I am angry. I have been letting Paul deal with all the conflict, I have been hiding.

Until now.

I know I am capable of being assertive, I do have the ability, That grown up is in there, I just have to practice using the other tools.
I have some new skills, I have a plan.

I am not saying that I am immature. I do have control over my feelings and I do not go around throwing temper tantrums. When I do find myself overwhelmed with emotions, I do manage to remove myself before the crazy comes out. That says a lot…years ago I didn’t have that ability.
I have a situation in life that needs me to step up, and I need to remember that I am role modelling for my own children. They need a mom who is in control, a mom who can resolve conflict with confidence.

I suppose the best way to explain this would be to say that at a very young age I had learned how to resolve conflict and get exactly what I needed. When I was a 23 year old mother of a young medically fragile child, at times I’m sure my temper was enduring. Admired maybe from others looking in, “the fight in that little one is powerful”,

When you are a 45 year old, 5′ chubby mother of a physically challenged young man….the temper tantrums don’t look so…lets say cute~
Here I find myself frightened, self-conscious, and at times nervous of what my reactions too a problem will be. So I have some work to do.

I am searching inside my tool box, pulling out a hammer! I’m gonna try to leave that screwdriver locked away safely in that box.
I have to train myself how to use the hammer, I don’t want to end up throwing it at some unsuspecting poor bastard. With my temper I can’t make any promises. 🙂

Well my lovelies, wishing you all the very best. I miss you~ Until next time good night and god bless~

Although Paul and I enjoyed a lovely dinner out last night, both my kids had to take care of their own dinner meals. Keep in mind they are both adults and more than capable of getting their own dinners, I still wanted to make something for us to enjoy later last night together as a family. So I made these Strawberry Creme Puffs. Let me tell you..they were soooo good!!

I started out following the directions of one recipe I found on Pinterest. First I needed to make the pastry. Unfortunately though my first batch didn’t turn out so well. Once I removed them from the oven, they flattened.

Look at them..they look like pancakes 😦

Unfortunately I had to start over..

I will share the recipe that I used, it belonged to Boston Creme Puff.

For the pastry I used:

1/2 cup of butter

1 cup of water

1/4 tsp salt

1 cup of all purpose flour

4 eggs

In a large pot bring butter and water to boil. Remove from heat. Add salt and flour and constantly stirring until dough forms a ball. Transfer the dough into a bowl, using a hand mixer add eggs one at a time and mix until all four eggs have been added.

Drop tablespoons of dough onto a parchment paper lined baking sheet. Bake for 30 minutes at 375 degrees. I kept a close eye on mine and baked until they were light, fluffy and browned. I also put a slit on the top of each one to let the steam out. Turned off the oven and let them stay in a little longer. I don’t have a very good explanation of this, I totally did my own thing. They turned out fine, if your uncomfortable trying on your own then check recipes on Pinterest, you will find times and temperatures there.

Once done I let cool completely and then make my Strawberry Filling.

2 Cups of Heavy Creme, mix with hand mixer or free standing blender until thickened and forming peaks. Then I added 1/3 cup of icing sugar and 1 tsp of Vanilla extract. Continue mixing until everything is nicely blended.

I let this mixture sit in the fridge for a few minutes just to allow time for my puffs to cool.

Fill your puffs with the Creme mixture using a piping bag, add your strawberries..

Sprinkle with icing sugar and DONE!! They were the perfect treat for after dinner, the 4 of us sat around the island enjoying them. It was the perfect Valentines Day spent with my family~

Until next time friends,

God Bless~

100 Things I Want To Teach My Daughter~

The #81 Never stop dating your husband~

That’s it Fox~

Easy!

It can be easy to forget one another when you are married with children.

(Our engagement night~Christmas eve 1989)

Reality is…once you have that first baby, you feel a love like no other. You truly think you couldn’t possibly love anyone or anything more that that baby. Truth is you won’t, but most importantly to that baby the love you have for your husband will by far the most important love of all.
Children feel safe when their parents love eachother, when children are safe they grow up feeling confident with a sense of self-resect.

(Me and My favorite Freckled Fox)

Your dad and I have never stopped “dating”. I remember when we were first admitted to MacMaster Hospital with Braden, one of the key supports provided was for dad and I was for our marriage.
If we would sit too late at Braden’s bedside, usually by 11:30pm the doctors would make their rounds and peek in on him. If we were there still Dr.Malcolmson would always come in and sit down with us and remind us to take care of eachother. He use to tell us to go get a bottle of wine and have a date.
At the time we were living at the Ronald MacDonald house, so we didn’t have a lot of “alone” time. We shared a kitchen, livingroom, games room and dining room. I’m not complaining as honestly it was a safe haven in a world so foreign to us.
Nana and Papa were also very concerned and supportive of our relationship. I think it was one of Nana’s biggest fears that I would lose my marriage over this trauma. They constantly took shifts with Braden at the hospital. Your dad and I would go out on a weekend evening to have dinner, sit amongst all the normal happy people living their lives and enjoying their freedom.
I suppose for us, we never took for granted the time we had together and for that every single moment alone spent together was truly a blessing.
After our date night, we’d head back to the hospital just in time to tuck Braden in or watch a quick movie with him. Chat with the nursing staff, have a visit with Nana and Papa and then off they would go.
Most weekends however were spent the same, we would order food and have it delivered to ICU. We’d watch a movie, just the three of us. We would listen to music, read books or play with him. Eventually the doctors prescribed a drug to help Braden relax and fall asleep. Some nights he wouldn’t give in and sleep until the wee hours of the morning. He was so nosey…lol
Chloral hydrate was the drug of choice, and the nursing staff had orders to give it too him when we were ready. Some nights he fought it and we didn’t get out of the ICU until 11pm. On the rare occasion he’d be asleep by 10pm and on those nights we would run out of there with our pagers. Its not like we wanted to leave him all the time, because truly I believe the doctors finally realized we weren’t leaving every night until Braden fell asleep. So it was their idea to give him some meds to make that happen quicker..lol I know they worried about Paul and I.

Back to dating, I do remember if we got out early enough we would go to Tim Horton’s and grab a coffee and then we’d go for a drive.
We would drive all around Hamilton, just so we could talk, listen to the radio and touch base with the outside world. We would head up too the mountain and sit in his car. Those were dates, to us it meant everything. It was our time, we loved to be with each other.
It was because of Nana and Papa dad and I could continue to date through those earlier years. We trained them with the medical procedures and eventually we could head out and go to dinner on a Friday night. Even though we couldn’t stay out late, we loved the freedom. We were the only two in our world completely knowing and understanding how the other one felt. It is a bond that has for sure been challenged but never broken. For that reason I believe our family has been successful.
Eventually and thankfully you came along, and you joined our little family. Although that added a new level of “strain” considering we still had a medically fragile child, we still continued to date.

(Do you remember this Valentines day? We had a romantic dinner planned with you kids. Dad cooked his famous shrimp dish. We had lobster and we toasted one another. It was one of my favorite valentines Day. It was important to us that you kids had the chance to experience what romance and Valentine’s day should be about)

There is something you don’t know, dad and I were very sneaky with date nights. On weekends when we couldn’t get out of the house to date, if Braden was sick or you were or maybe it was a busy family weekend. After you and Braden would go to bed, we would go to basement, watch a movie and dad would go to Burger King and we’d get Bacon Cheeseburgers and Fries…and we would sit down stairs, watch our movie and eat our burgers. Best Date Nights EVER!
We were so in love with our lives, we both understood not to take advantage of one another or the time we had. I can’t even explain how every moment alone to us was amazing~
There were moments after you were born, and we couldn’t no longer stay at the Ronald MacDonald house. It was a choice, we didn’t want to uproot you. We wanted you to have your school, gymnastic classes, skating classes and homecooked meals. You wanted to be with friends and of course Harley. So nana and papa stayed with you through the day, and I would be home at night. But during those years dad and I did have less time alone together when Braden was hospitalized. We did however take 30 minutes each day during shift change to have a coffee together in the hospital cafeteria. We would catch up, usually about you. Discuss my day at the hospital and Braden’s condition. Those to us, were dates. As sad as it was, again it was our time. I can truly say…during those moments there is no one else in the world I wanted to be with.
Today we still date.
We try to get out one night a week,(Red Basil Thursday date night ;)) and of course a night on the weekend.
We don’t have as much freedom as others do, we can’t pick up easily and leave for a weekend or a night. As you know there is a lot of planning involved at this time in our life.
But that’s no excuse Fox. We still need time together, and that takes creativity. Thankfully we do have a cottage that we can run off too on occasion and have a romantic evening. Once you hit 40-50 years old it can get challenging to come up with romantic ideas for date night. I will always remind you….it is so important to always find the time to plan, orchestrate and execute the perfect night in with hubby.
Now, that’s not always going to be your job. Take turns planning date night. You know my rule about communication between spouses. Never put expectations on eachother, do not think he can read your mind about what you would like for a date night. Tell him what you want. Give him complete instructions of your expectations, that’s how men work. They don’t all think like women, and you can’t hold that against them. If you share your wants and he pulls it off, then you have yourself a good man. It shouldn’t matter that you have to give him a shopping list of food options, candles and chocolate sauce. He will learn fox…its up to you too teach him.
I only hope your dad has taught you how you deserve to be treated by a man. That was his job as a daddy to a little girl. He took that job seriously, and I know the man you marry will have a best friend in him forever as long as he loves you as much as your dad does.

This past weekend dad and I had a date night. As you know we don’t have a real fireplace in our cottage (sadly). But that didn’t stop us from having indoor S’mores complete with a little adorable flame.

We locked ourselves in our little cottage and did absolutely nothing but “Netflix and chill”..sorry Fox, but its true~
So as you venture out into the world of dating and finding a potential future hubby….always be sure you make time for one another. There should be NO excuses, if your dad and I could do it under those circumstances that we survived. Then my baby, you should certainly be capable of it too. When life is busy crazy, nights come quick, mornings come quicker, take the time to touch base. All you need is 30 minutes of uninterrupted time to connect. For the rest of your married life, even through the chaos, DATE. I promise we will be there for you, we will be sitters anytime you need. To us, your marriage will always be a priority. If it hadn’t been for nana and papa’s love and commitment to dad and I…we may not be sitting here tonight having our tea, watching The Little Couple.
We love you and both you and Braden will always have us in your corners for fulfilling healthy, happy marriages. Not in a meddling kind of way, we don’t want to be TOO involved. That’s one thing nana and papa did as well, they always respected our own unique family life. Never judging, arguing or challenging our choices. They are truly the best teachers we ever had, and I will be forever grateful to them both. I promise to be the best I can for you~
My lovelies, if you are reading this I hope you can take away something from my experiences. I hope that you have the same love and respect for one another as Paul and I do for eachother~
So until tomorrow good night and god bless~

No one is responsible for you except you.

That’s a hard lesson for so many people in life to understand. So many times we have people in our life who come to us wanting us to fix their problems or lend them a helping hand in time of need.

Naturally our instinct is too help others, and by all means fox it is so important to be there when someone needs you.
However there is a difference between lifting someone up a ladder, while they are taking the steps, then having to push someone up each step.

My expectations of you and your brother are just this;

When you find yourself in difficult times, it is important to reach out to those who love you. Asking for help is nothing to be ashamed of. I feel its more pathetic if you don’t ask for help when you need it. Trying to be stoic, strong and independent when dealing with a personal crisis just seems ridiculous. When you have loving, kind and caring people in your life why wouldn’t you accept a helping hand.

With that said, keep in mind the importance of helping yourself first. Always be aware of the changes you need to make in order to fulfill the demands of your life challenge or event.
Before you expect others to lend their time and resources, be sure you are not wearing down your offers of help. There is only so much someone can do to help you. Ultimately its up to you, the outcome of your journey lies in your own hands.

People should not be expected to lift you up and spoon feed you the answers to your problems. That’s your job. You need to be your own advocate.

If we are constantly trying to “help and encourage” others, we ourselves will run out of fuel. It is not your responsibility to care for and tend to those around you. If however they themselves are putting in the effort, working hard to better their problem then I would feel it is kind to support them.
Never turn your back on someone who needs you, and I strongly suggest you guide them in the right direction of help. Once you have done that, its up to them to follow through. YOU are not responsible to see that they are moving forward.
So don’t get caught up with those issues in your life fox, always remember the difference between encouraging and enabling. It can be a fuzzy distinction sometimes, so listen to your instincts. Understand your own body, mind and soul and what they may be trying to tell you about the situation.

I love you Fox, stay true to you always xo

via 100 things I want to teach my daughter #66 Science has made it possible to live longer, but it hasn’t spent anything on developing ways to enjoy being older~

Dear Fox,

I am now in middle age, mid-forties, married with two adult children whom I absolutely adore. I have 3 dogs, a few good friends, a part-time’ish job, a blog and I love to run on my treadmill.
I enjoy spending time with you, Braden and your dad, nana and papa and on the rare occasion going out with friends to socialize.
Mentally I am in a good place, physically I am getting better. My body is showing signs of a life well lived. I have some aches and pains, slow to start and not near as limber as I use to be. I suppose some of that comes with age, but in reality lets remember my 20 + years of lifting and transferring.
Spiritually and mentally I still feel like a young adult. I find pleasure in walking, painting, photography, writing, and being creative. Those are the things that bring me peace.
I have written a blog a while back about the importance of keeping your mind, body and soul all aligned. In order to have complete peace and happiness I truly believe you must be balanced.

Staying balanced is not easy, it takes a lot of work and consistent striving. That is something that must follow you into old age. I know I have said to you before, actually I preach to you that people change through the course of their lives. (“No, I don’t think we change”, “Ya I think we do, we change a little”) lol Bridesmaids* That’s our typical exchange between you and I 😉

As stated in the title, science has made it possible to live longer, but it hasn’t spent anything on developing ways to being older.

We are curing illness, treating life threatening diseases and providing home care for those who are aging in our society. Generally we are living longer, this is good right? The only problem is we need to catch up with the aging population. Our society and communities needs to invest more into our seniors. Get them out, take an interest in their lives. Teach them to have an interest in their own lives.
For me, I believe in the natural progression of aging. If you live a healthy life then you should find no problems with aging.

People assume that just because you are 65 years old, and your knees hurt, or your back hurts it gives you permission too feel that its because you are aging. In fact, it is NOT because you are 65 years old that your body aches, more often than not your body aches due to unforeseen circumstances from something in your past. Possibly staying in a competitive job for 30 years where you are doing the same body mechanics for 8 hours a day, the toll has caught up.
Or maybe your memory isn’t as good as it once was, its not because you are 80 years old, your age shouldn’t effect the aging process. There would be other reasons for your bad memory, maybe inheriting Alzheimer’s.

So, my advice to you dear fox is too stay active, live a healthy lifestyle and age naturally. Do not take advantage of your healthy, fit, beautiful body because if not taken care of properly that will slowly erode.
It scares me, this whole aging process and I will continue to remind you that taking care of yourself is the most important part of life.
Grow into your adult life with healthy habits, interests that encourage you to learn, open mind, community engagement and a strong faith based love of god.
Age happily, its a privilege to become old never take that for granted.

Love you Fox, with all my heart~

Success: the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors; the accomplishment of one’s goals.

What does success mean to me?

Balance

I truly believe that success lies in how well someone can balance their life. There is so much more to life than someone’s income, education, career and social status. Having the ability to successfully nurture and grow your mind, body and soul throughout your life is my opinion of complete success.

For me, anyone can have a high earning job. But if they don’t have good health or any knowledge of a healthy lifestyle then their money will be of no use to them.

You can have the highest IQ in the room, Phd in Physics but if you don’t have the ability to apply your education to a career then there is not much use for those framed degree’s.

If you own one of the classiest hotels in all the world, or a 5 star restaurant and you are not capable of making friends, and lack self esteem then I can say with certainty your business won’t be the happiest of work places. Over time that too will dive bomb into a sea of despair.

My point is simple fox, we have so much more in our life to achieve than just income or social status. It is far more important to consistently nourish and develop your mind, body and soul.
For me, my success or goals have been different at certain times in my life. When I have been physically strong (body) I was struggling emotionally (mind). At that time in my life I went back to school to become a nurse. Lets look at that…
I was 34 years old, probably the fittest I have ever been. I was an avid runner, and gym rat at least 3 times a week. I was feeling the best I could have ever felt…that was success. BUT that success was only physically. Emotionally I was in a sour place. I was unsure of who I was, I was scared for the state of my marriage and I was lost. I needed to do something to fix that state I was in…I needed a goal.
So I decided to become a nurse. That was my goal. I changed my life in that moment so I could nurture, grow and educate my mind. Success.
For a time in my life I had great health, strong mind and a nurtured soul. I had graduated as a nurse, I started my career in a hospital and I became an independant woman. My children were stable, marriage was on the right path and for me everything was balanced. Success.

Today, I am probably the least fit I have ever been. I am the most unhappy about my body image at this time in my life. I need a goal. I know I need to fix this problem or I’m going to find myself in a very bad frame of mind. Depressed, unhealthy and disappointed in myself.
Emotionally at this time, I am probably the most stable I have ever been. Success
You know this past year I have been working very hard, bettering myself, learning and educating my life. I have been battling some PTSD effects, it has knocked me on my ass. But I could see this and I knew I needed to fix it. My goal was too get some help, educate and find support. That’s exactly what I did.Mind.=Success.
Once someone has a positive healthy frame of mind, that makes it much easier to want a healthy body. And that my freckled fox is my next step. Body

Soul…What is your soul? Your soul is your energy force. Its what people sense when you walk into a room. You know how some people just radiate when you are in their presence? How just being around someone tends to make you happier. That is how someone’s soul is felt. Feeding that fire, lighting that flame is what we all need to remember to do. Fueling that light in ourselves is balance, and balance is what I define as success.

There are many ways to feed your soul, some people mediate, play sports, worship, read, exercise, creative art, sing, cook, vacation, put yourself out there and commit a random act of kindness. Whatever it takes to make your heart happy is all you need to be doing to feed the soul.
Through the years I have done many things to do just that. My earliest memories are of painting classes. Then we did volunteer work, and more volunteer work in your school. Today I still am involved with volunteering so I suppose that is one way I choose to keep my soul lit.
Volunteering=Happy soul. Success.

Mind, Body &Soul

I know right now in your life its so hard to see yourself as a 40 year old woman. Its so far away, you have so much to do. To your father and I, it doesn’t truly matter what career you choose, how much money you make or how successful you are in those areas. To us, if you are sincerely happy with a life that brings you much joy regardless of your social status…then that too me is success.
I am not one to quickly judge anyone who chooses a life as a bartender, garbage truck driver, pizza delivery person or house cleaner. You don’t have to have the best education and the highest paying job to find success. There is a huge difference between someone working at MacDonald’s because they are too lazy to graduate high school. Someone who works at MacDonald’s but continuously educates themselves, travels and experiences the wonders of this world to me is someone who strives for success.
I hope you can understand the difference between the two.
Don’t get me wrong fox, we want you to strive for the very best in life. We pray your determination and dedication to your education brings you to great places because we believe you are going to change the world baby.
DON’T give up on your dreams for a good life, you strive for that high priced job and fancy home. But promise me along the way you will nurture and feed the things that will give you strength through it all…Mind, Body and Soul~
Without the balance of those three things, success will never be reached. Whatever it is you do in life, take care of yourself first. I love you fox~

On a side note: My biggest success was overcoming a very catastrophic accident, and while finding our way through that storm we managed to raise two amazing people. To me…that is my success~